It's official. I'm an obnoxious bum. I was leaving the store today and my eye caught a woman holding hands with her two sons in the parking lot. I saw them approach a lightpost and one of the boys went out of his way to let go of her hand and walk around it. As I watched from my private view of my car, I automatically rolled my eyes, the way I would have if one of my own kids did that. I was shocked and humbled to see the mother respond to this event with a huge smile on her face. She was filled with joy about how cute it was that her son did that.
This might not sound super profound to others, but I can't get the image out of my head. If Abi and I approached a lightpost like that, I would have pulled her closer to me so she wouldn't be tempted to slow us down and walk around it. Or if Naomi did it I would sigh loudly and crouch down to catch her, certain that she would run into the street if given a second of freedom. What I would not have done is laugh. Smile broadly, ecstatic that my goofy child was having a little fun.
This all hit me like a ton of bricks. I am more devoted to getting my errands run than enjoying this blessed life. I would rather get out of the store with time to clean the living room than to stop at the park and run around with the girls in the sunshine. I think the mark of a good day is to have several items checked off my to-do list and dinner on the table by the time Yaacov comes home. Those aren't the memory-makers we need! Those are NOT the experiences I had in mind when I declared I could not leave my children motherless! We have so much to be thankful for, and I for one am not living that way. Maybe my kids need a few more dance parties and a few less life lessons. Maybe we all do.
Psalm 13:5-6, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise, for he has been good to me."
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