As an update, I've been done with chemo for 10 days or so. Feel the same as always but I don't know if that's because I was doing well with chemo in the first place or I haven't started recovering yet. I can't figure out a tangible measurement to compare the way I felt pre-chemo to now. When you live with stuff long enough, it becomes "normal" anyway. I see Rassam Thursday and believe he will schedule me for another PET scan. After that one comes back as cancer-free I plan to ask him to cut back on those to decrease my exposure to radiation. I'm also praying more about whether to definitely have the mastectomy and radiation treatment. Common sense says yes to both, I just need to make sure that's what God says too.
If you've followed this from the start you've noticed that I went from 100% backing medical science and shunning alternative medicine to dabbling in alternative stuff. Everyone I speak to has an opinion on it and I thought clarifying my current thought process here would decrease a bit of the need to discuss it so frequently. I've done more "research" lately (remember what I do is not scientific, I really only read reviews of articles, and someone forming life-altering opinions with more time should read the original articles). Over the past few months I really developed an interest in and pursued alternative medicine. For the most part, what I'm talking about is looking at the studies and theories on eating natural stuff to specifically control or reduce cancer. Everyone I talk to has a bias toward either that, or regular medicine, or just following the Holy Spirit. Obviously my goal is to just follow Him, but I still have to look into things sometimes.
After all my dabbling, the verdict is in: For me, I feel like being open to the guidance from the Holy Spirit is a lifelong pursuit, but for now He's pulling me away from the alternative stuff. So until I hear differently I'm following traditional medicine and advice. I am still following certain dietary guidelines but believe that for my post-BRCA1 "stage 4" cancer, there isn't a lot of alternative medicine that would help me. I've spoken to a dietician-type person, met with a naturopath, spoken to the workers at all the health food/herbal places, and read a ton of stuff. I feel like a lot of the information is theoretical instead of scientific, or makes enormous generalizations (e.g. colon cancer can be controlled with diet but that doesn't mean lung cancer can be). I also read my grandmother's medical records. They didn't know about BRCA genes back then, but when she was diagnosed they knew it was aggressive, like mine. They estimated that she had 6-12 months to live without treatment. She was treated by Dr. Max Gerson (founder of Gerson therapy, a big alternative treatment that is still going strong), and died in just 3 months. He told my grandpa that he probably couldn't help her, btw. The opinion I have formed from all this "research" is that his juicing treatment is sort of the ultimate alternative therapy for cancer. It's all natural, all the healthy superfoods, no sugar, flour etc., and from the research that institute has done they have concluded that for genetically-based cancers it is ineffective. So, when people suggest less extreme alternatives to me I am even more skeptical that they would work. I do believe there are certain situations and types of cancers that alternative stuff can help, so don't think I'm forming an opinion for other people. And I'm generally trying to continue some simple changes that I hope will decrease the chances of future cancers for my whole family.
As for the whole family, I have been praying that the girls do not get the genetic mutation. There is a 50/50 chance for each of them without God's intervention. I believe He has already answered that prayer. We'll see when they're 18 and we'll just keep petitioning Him on their behalf until then. Here's where a weird part comes in: Someone who was praying for me and who seems to be very in touch with the Holy Spirit, did not know anything about my jewish ancestry. While praying for me she felt strongly that my cancer came from a generational curse brought down from my jewish ancestors. Now, false prophets exist, plus we're all human so sometimes we can get messages wrong. But it doesn't go against any scripture I know of so I'm not going to discard the idea. The thought she had was that my ancestors were those in the crowd who told Pilate Jesus' blood would be on their hands and their children's hands. I just read those verses and the 3 hairs on my neck stood up. I hate the idea of being related to them. Obviously in some way I am because of my jewish heritage, but like, directly related to some of the worst people ever is not a good thing. I think we all like to hope that if we had lived back then we would have been with the few standing up for Him. But I just realized it has taken 2000+years for anyone in my family to even believe in Christ, so I must come from a long line of stubborn, hard-hearted people. However, I am standing up for and believing in Him now! I'm the first female in our family (that I know of) to accept Christ, and it's interesting that I'm the first one (again, that I know of) who has been miraculously healed of our genetically-based cancer! So, these are a lot of "ifs" that I won't know until heaven, but I like the way it all goes together, and it gives me more hope that my precious girls, who already love Jesus, will not be cursed with the wretched BRCA1 mutation.
I think this pertains to everyone because even if you don't believe Jesus is the Messiah it's still clear that He was put to death under false pretenses. Ugh. Just thinking that might have been my great-great-great-great-great-great-great (and so on) -grandpa condemning Him is no good. You'd think it would be a grandmother but I don't know if they got to scream at the leaders too. Maybe breast cancer is a curse for the men anyway because they have to live without their awesome wives.
Here it is: Matthew 27:19-31
"While Pilate was sitting on the judge's seat, his wife sent him this message: 'Don't have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.'
But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed. 'Which of the two do you want me to release to you?' asked the governor.
'Barabbas' they answered.
'What shall I do, then, with Jesus, who is called Christ?' Pilate asked.
They all answered, 'Crucify him!'
'Why? What crime has he committed?' asked Pilate.
But they shouted all the louder, 'Crucify him!'
When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. 'I am innocent of this man's blood,' he said. 'It is your responsibility!'
All the people answered, 'Let his blood be on us and on our children!'
Then he released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.
Then the governor's soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around hijm. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. 'Hail, king of the jews!' they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him."
Christ was condemned by MANKIND.
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