The makeover was a really big deal that took me way out of my comfort zone. The first thing we did was take before pictures looking dowdy. I wore sweats, which I am not unfamiliar with. Then we made a video where I told the 5-minute version of the story. That was to increase the talk about the show. The model's story isn't a publicly judged part of the competition, but they felt that in the past people with good stories did better. I'm not sure if this link will work because it's through Facebook, but this is an attempt to link to the video. After that we picked out the snazziest outfit we could find because the models would be judged while on the catwalk in front of over 600 people. There were 4 judges and everyone in the audience got to vote too, but it was unclear what percent of the vote the audience comprised. We started the makeover 24 hours before the event and I looked different than I expected. I was surprised that the colors worked for me, but the final product looked good.
The experience was really nerve-wracking. A few weeks before I became very aware that we weren't going to win. Not to say the judging is a sham, but there were undertones that the event coordinators were really focusing on certain people. Then it happened that one salon was honored with a lifetime achievement award then happened to win the Top Salon Contest too.
When I realized it was very unlikely that we would win I was humbled. I had been on such a roll with God as of late, where I had been shown favoritism time after time that I sort of started to expect it. After a lifetime of being the least favorite, always second place, etc. I really enjoyed the change. I gave Him the credit but deep down there was some sort of pride that I had sort of done something right to deserve it. Like I had finally stumbled upon the magic trick to have an easy life. So, it was really good for me to not win. I found peace beforehand with the concept that while I thought we should win (the winner's story got published in Tallahassee magazine) to glorify God, God doesn't need any help being glorified. It's my job to do it, but not within my constructs of good and bad ideas. Within His.
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."--Prov 16:9
I prayed beforehand and felt that any ways I could draw attention to God's awesomeness would make that night/experience a success. We didn't win the contest but it was definitely successful. I got to know a lot of ladies from the salon (if you live in Tallahassee, go to Haute Headz, they are the best!), and had the opportunity to tell one of the other contestants about His miracle. Plus, I was reminded that people still remember me from last year. You might recall that back then I was getting recognized and stopped several times per day by people who were following my blog or praying for me. That has virtually stopped, but one highlight of the night was when it happened as I walked the runway: I was terrified, much more scared than I've been in a long time. My dress was sort of damaged so didn't fit properly so I had to be really cautious about showing my booty, and we had missed the practice and was unable to get any look at the runway before I walked down it. The cheering was so loud I never heard my music, which is what I had used to emphasize my "moves". Anyway, I couldn't see anyone because of the lights, and a few steps in someone (I couldn't get a good look but really think she was a stranger because no one I knew was sitting in that area) shouted some really inspiring words at me about what I'd been through. About how far God has brought me.
That was one of the most memorable moments of the night. I wonder if the woman realized I even heard her, let alone how much it meant to me. There was something intangible about it. It was just LOVE. Straight from above, for that moment I needed it. It takes me back to the days of strangers stopping me when I was bald and telling me I was beautiful. One time three people did it in one trip to the drugstore. Back then I noted it, but it just added a drop to my empty heart. Now I remember that stuff and hold it dearly. God used so many people to show me His love. He practically beat me over the head with it and I couldn't accept it.
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."--Lk 12:6-7
It was so personal and timely, utterly encouraging. It also reminds me how amazing it has been for strangers and virtual strangers to support my family and me so much. That they would care so much about and for me. Thank-you to that woman for her devotion and support! Thank-you to the awesome ladies at Haute Headz who made me look amazing (pics below), Ashley Easom (hair), Darcy and Monique plus everyone else there, thanks to my amazing friends Christine Boulos, Caroline Fleischer, Jenni Cox, Jennifer & Justin Menendez, my awesome mom, and to my biggest fan of all, the incomparable Yaacov. He is the best husband I could hope for. We were made for each other and his strengths during this cancer journey bolstered my weaknesses so much, I can't imagine going through it with anyone else.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" --Gal 6:2
Yaacov and me. He was grinning all night so I will try to keep at least parts of the makeover up.
Awesome ladies of Haute Headz
Great friends who always support me: Caroline Fleischer, Christine Boulos and Jenni Cox
Ashley did my hair, styled me, got me a tan and makeup person, and coordinated every part of the makeover.
Being diagnosed with breast cancer can be devastating news. This feeling is reasonable; there's no doubt about it cancer turns your world upside down. As a breast cancer survivor, I now know that we go through several psychological steps in dealing a breast cancer diagnosis.
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