God is still good. Last night I felt sick and started panicking that I wouldn't be able to start chemo on time because of it. I went to bed at 7:30 and feel fine now. I'm so grateful for the healing and for the lifestyle that I can do that and it's not even a blip on the radar. The kids were in bed, Yaacov was home with video games to entertain him, etc. I can't imagine going through this with a job outside the house or as a single mom.
One reason I went "public" on Facebook yesterday was because I was already sort of depressed and wanted to get it out of the way. I was skeptical that those who aren't close enough to me to know already would really care. But the outpouring of love and messages from old friends and even strangers has been really encouraging.
I had a sort of daydream (I can't say it was a vision from God, but it was definitely filled with love that only He is responsible for). I was in the front yard with Abigail, having a "dance party". We have them all the time where we blast the music and mostly spin around and laugh. Anyway, it was the two of us holding hands and spinning, the wind was in our hair and she was smiling with those huge cheeks. Then suddenly I looked over, and the whole yard was filled with people who love us. We were all dancing together with joy because of God's great love. We're going to have that dance party when He heals me.
Abi just caught me crying as I finished up this post. She said, "Why are you crying?" I told her it's because God is so good. She wisely responded, "Well, whenever you want to cry about something you should just sing, 'God is so good' instead". I think I'll try that today.
It is lovely how God uses the innocent to speak truth to us. I think I will take Abi's advice as well.
ReplyDeleteI love this Erin~ Thinking about you and praying for you all today, and everyday! I was just thinking how Dance Parties remind me of you~ I seem to have one, as a ring on my phone. The girls and I would love to have a dance party in your yard, with you and Abi!!! Love you. Love, Nichole :)
ReplyDeleteI want to be at the dance party when he heals you! I can't wait!
ReplyDelete@tryna: Big thumbs up! I agree!!
ReplyDeleteDear Erin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your struggles with us. Here I was trying to come up with some words of encouragement for you but instead you have comforted me with your strength, faithfulness and trust in our God! I can't even imagine what you are going through right now...last night as I was praying for you, this song (or rather this passage, Psalms 23) kept coming to my mind... "even though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." YOu can check this song out and sing along http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7HueE8ZbmM&feature=related
When you are ready to see people, I want to be among the firsts to take you out to lunch!! :)
Love,
penny
beautifully written.....love your dance parties.
ReplyDeleteI can't sing and sure can't dance but I will take lessons in both just to be able to be at the healing party!
ReplyDeleteYou continue to inspire me!
Vicki
Erin, what a beautiful post. I am praying for you, for courage and comfort and peace, and pleading for your healing.
ReplyDeleteSeveral weeks ago our families passed in the hall at church and Will and Abigail kind of went out of their way to wave to one another, which I thought was so cute, because I didn't even know they knew each other, but of course they're in the same SS class. Anyway, I asked him about Abigail today and he said he'd love to have a playdate with her, so please remember us when you need help with the girls. Will would enjoy playing with Abigail, and we would love to get to know Naomi.
God IS so good. Thank you for that reminder, Abigail.
Hi Erin,
ReplyDeleteIt's Robin from alpha phi. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for a healing for you. Your family is absolutely gorgeous. Your faith and perspective is a true inspiration. I just went to see a woman speak that had an inoperable tumor, was given months to live, and placed in hospice care. She was released from hospice and she essentially healed herself through faith and alternative options. Stay positive and open minded, it is absolutely possible. Miracles happen every day.
Love,
Robin
Erin - God IS so good . . . but it is also OK to cry from time to time. Take this fight one day at a time, and know you are surrounded by the prayers of those who love you!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a TRUE "happy dance"! ;-)
ReplyDeleteErin, Thank you for allowing us to follow you in this journey. You are incredibly faithful & a true inspiration to many! I'm praying for God speed healing!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a very big yard, or really understanding neighbors! Also I vote for bare feet, dancing in heels sucks! We've got an army praying and it's growing every day. Peace, Hope, Joy, Healing, Laughter, Energy, Vision and Faith dear Sister! xxoo ~ Mary (Colleen) Coffee
ReplyDelete