Tuesday, December 26, 2017

My book! Follow links, it's free!

Well, I finally finished my book. I'm uploading it as an Ebook with the intention of providing it for free for anyone who is interested in hearing what the Lord did! I put it on my updated blog because this one causes trouble occasionally. Please go here to download it!

Monday, March 13, 2017

Prayer Challenge

I transferred my blog to www.unceasinglove.com, but haven't posted much lately anyway. I started an unrelated 40-day prayer challenge on Facebook about a week ago, but keep feeling a prompt to mention it on here. So, maybe the Lord is asking one of you to get involved! It's simple, We post a daily prayer focus and see the Lord respond. It's all about Him being enough for us, And the truth that we are enough for Him, without barriers or impressive accomplishments. Anyway, join us at:

If the link doesn't work, go to Facebook and search for "ENOUGH: A 40-day prayer journey".

Whatever you are struggling with, He will help...not because you are righteous or innocent on your own, but because we pray in Jesus' name, and there is POWER in the name of Jesus!

Friday, April 29, 2016

Blog Moved, go to www.unceasinglove.com

Just a reminder that this blog moved. I really want people who want to keep up with it to stay tuned, there's so much cool stuff going on!
Here's a link to the latest post, please make sure to go to it and subscribe!
Try either of these: www.unceasinglove.com or

Monday, November 2, 2015

Transferring Blog!

You can find this blog on our new website, www.unceasinglove.com . Please take a second to hop over there, bookmark, and join it because the current one will close soon.
I am working on writing the story of my healing in book form, but it's taking longer than I hoped. So in the meantime I needed a new website and didn't want it to have "cancer" in the name. I prayed about how it could reflect what should be the focus of all our lives, and God reminded me about the crux of my message--Love. I used to think He gave me the message of hope, but then He reminded me that "faith, hope, and love remain, but the greatest of these is love" (1 Cor 13:13). He is love, and although people through time tend to alter the definition of the term, the true Word reflects its meaning in some way through every page of the Bible. Everyone knows love is patient and kind, doesn't envy or boast, etc. (1 Cor 13:4-8). But love also speaks truth and does not leave a thief to steal, but lets him labor and do honest work (Ephesians 4:25, 28). Walking in love means forgiving people who don't deserve it, the way Jesus forgives us Every.Single.Day...
So, on this journey to walk in His unceasing love, I have summarized the basics of what I know:
I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.
I am messy, moody, short-sighted, forgetful, quick to anger, slow to listen.
But, I am the beloved daughter of royalty. My Father is the King of all Kings, the beginning and the end. He created me in His image, and finds me delightful.
And, I am just like you.
He knows every bad thing we have ever done, every dark thought to pass through our minds. There have been many.
He doesn't punish us for those things, although He could. Instead, His perfect Son willingly took every one of our sins and carried them to the cross, where He died so that we can live.
When I fell in love with Jesus and thanked Him for taking my punishment, He blessed me to spend eternal life in heaven, with Him. I look forward to worshipping Him forever. He does that for every person who accepts Him. We don't earn or deserve it, we just receive it upon request. No strings attached, no fine print.
I didn't deserve to be miraculously healed of terminal cancer, but He freely spoke the word and cast all the cancer out of my body. "But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift" Ephesians 4:7.
I transferred my old blog with lots of details from my family's journey with incurable cancer to this site. Please join it and spread the word of unceasinglove.com  

Friday, September 11, 2015

Rest in Peace

I've been trying to encourage a friend who the Lord is unveiling as an intercessor, while living out the hard consequences of interceding for people. The truth about intercession is that it's really depressing. And lonely. Disappointment abounds as we look for God's hand at work and can't see it, day after day.

I have this general policy that I can only take on a few prayer "projects" at a time. So many people need prayer, and I can't stand rattling off an impersonal list of needs to God. So I limit it to the people He really puts on my heart. Because, I want to really love Him enough to wholeheartedly seek healing for His people. I want to love His people enough to lose sleep over their condition. To lose my breath when their own breathing is restricted. To lose my appetite when theirs fails. The Lord inspired so many strangers to loved me like that when I was sick. Isn't that the least I can do for others?

I guess praying passionately for other people is my version of loving outrageously, even though they may never feel the effects of it. Because no matter how passionate our pleas are, we don't always see answers. Lately it feels like I rarely receive responses.

I posted about Lyn a time or two on here. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a little less than a year ago. She had a nice life and a loving family, and a strong desire for the Lord to heal her. But she went to heaven today. I recently heard a pastor mention with disdain that some well-meaning people pray others "out of heaven", by praying that they'd have more time on earth. I don't want to do that, although considering how many of our prayers go unanswered, I'm not convinced God keeps people around who don't belong here just because faithful people ask Him to.

I'm really sad that Lyn passed away. I only met her a few times, but prayed for her (along with many others) with passion and zeal, and can feel the disappointment she had to carry as her hopes were dashed, along with juggling the feelings of loved ones. I absolutely trust the Lord though, and believe today was the day she met Him and began that part of eternity. She told me how special it was to her that the Lord had me praying, and I know that part of my role with her was to share some of His love.

So, how can we not see big, juicy fruit from all of our prayers, yet keep praying? How can we juggle the knowledge that God is sovereign and always right, with the disappointment from some of His choices? How can we encourage others to intercede with passion when we suspect He won't answer?

I don't know.

I guess we persevere because God tells us to. Because with Him we are able, and if He enables us He has a reason. Because "we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed" (2 Cor 4:8-9). And because once in awhile His glory does fall on us, and we need to be ready for it. Make us ready, Lord!

Monday, July 6, 2015

Outrageous Love

The idea of "outrageous love" has followed me around for months now. It started when I heard a guy in a documentary mention that Christians are not known for their outrageous love. I was offended for a moment, before realizing he was right...

Given the timing of this post aligning with the recent Supreme Court ruling, I just have to clarify that I am not in any way talking about the world's definition of love. I wish that type had a different name so I could draw a better distinction. There are several types of love in the New Testament, but I'm reflecting on deep, heartfelt passion for God and for the people God created. That is not the same as giving people what they want to make them happy. If those things lead them to sin or there is a reason God wants to withhold those things from them, it's not at all loving to lead them astray in that way.

I think it's human nature to desire to be outrageously loved. Pretty much all the mainstream movies I can think of involve someone selflessly--courageously-- putting oneself at risk for the well-being of another. Yet I also remember the disillusionment I faced when I was younger, when I concluded that we all wish for others to take big risks for us, yet it's rare that we are willing to do it for others. In real life, we're afraid to fight for others, or sometimes don't love them enough to leave our comfort zones to do so.

We have a perfect example of one human who did love us outrageously. The work of the One we follow could be summed up with the term, "outrageous love". I daresay John 3:16 is one of the most famous truths from the Bible: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life". It's outrageous, but true. Maybe that's why it's so hard for some people to believe.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8.

So, if we were saved--delivered from the certainty of eternal damnation, and released from our chains of slavery--by an act of outrageous love, how could we consider not sharing that love in an outrageous way?

God plays the beautiful Veggie Tales version of "His Banner over Me is Love" through my mind frequently. The words are true, His banner over me IS love, and I have the precious memory of watching Abigail dance in her first recital to that song, right after I was healed. Everything about it casts the cares of this world away and reminds me of the truth of His outrageous love for me.

Some people go through life not experiencing or receiving the outrageous love of God or from His people, but it seems like time and time again God has called others to share His love for me in powerful ways. They aren't always huge gestures. Sometimes it's the little things, timed perfectly. And sometimes the experiences seem so minor that if we aren't paying attention we miss the magnitude. I usually am very general on here so I don't accidentally miss anyone and leave them feeling unappreciated. But, I will make an exception in this case. I have a friend who loved me really well through our journey with cancer, and I'm sad because she just moved away. So, I thought I'd give her the attention I should have given her while she lived in town.

As I type I recognize that these acts don't seem that significant, but they are and were very important to me. Something about this outrageous love is the personalized experience, knowing that God knows what we need and when we need it. It can also assure us that we don't need to sail around the world to love others well. Just stay close to the Lord and He will reveal the opportunities.

Shannon was the first non-relative to ever watch baby Naomi. She took her when I had surgical appointments two days in a row, and Naomi cried the whole time. Naomi was inconsolable (still hadn't taken a bottle or anything), but Shannon didn't act like it was any burden at all. She made it seem easy and I can't tell you the relief I felt with being able to leave her and not feel guilty about it. Better yet, while I was still in my "I won't let cancer break me!" phase, Shannon was the first person I saw shed a tear over it. I had known her less than a year and received her vulnerability as a precious gift that inspired me to embrace the broken heartedness I felt. It is okay to be sad, it's okay to care for others. In fact, Jesus wept for His friends, and that was the example Shannon followed. Lastly, when I started this blog I was literally terrified to be put to shame. Sharing my feelings in a public forum--literally inviting others to reject my innermost, hidden self--was indescribably frightening. Not only did she follow it immediately, but before I had even memorized the web address, she had shared it with everyone she saw. She followed the Holy Spirit to fight through outreach and prayer for my family and for me, and she does things like that for others every single day. Houston is so fortunate that she and her whole family are on their way to share God's love with them!

Friday, June 19, 2015

Trials of Terror

You might have seen that I dared to post good news about the Good News of Jesus on Wednesday. I spent a few minutes extolling the Lord and some of the great things He has done in supernaturally healing me of incurable cancer. So, of course, the following day it looked like everything had changed...

I went to my routine bi-annual appointment with Dr. Crooms, my awesome surgeon. I would remind you how completely amazing he is, but the best nurse in the world, Nurse Karen, asked that I stop advertising for them--the list of patients waiting to get in with him is just too long! Anyway, I had a lump of scar tissue that Dr. Rassam hasn't been concerned about, but Dr. Crooms was interested in it and wanted a closer look. He gave me an ultrasound then had me come back today for a biopsy. 

I don't know if this event arose from some sort of interchange between the devil and the Lord,  like what happened in Job. Maybe God wanted me to see what I would do in a situation like this. Either way, I've entitled it, "Trial of Terror: Will They or Won't They?" Because it was so clear that it was an opportunity to put our money where our mouths were--would we allow terror to set in, and embrace the panic of having the cancer return (or another cancer discovered)? Or would we stand firm in the faith of who God is? Yaacov told me a few times that it was our chance for a do-over from how we handled cancer the first time around. To which I (obviously) thought, "But I rocked the first diagnosis, no need for a do-over..."

But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 2 Cor 11:13

I think most cancer survivors have a bit of PTSD related to their diagnosis, and in my case, sometimes my world sort of revolves around the fact that God healed me of it when there was nothing else men could do to help me. Not only do I remember every detail of my original diagnosis, but so much of it was the same yesterday. He used the same ultrasound machine and gave me the same news, "I can do a biopsy today and get the permanent section results back in a few days, or you can come back in the morning and we could get the preliminary results in an hour". This is because it was after business hours both times he decided to give me a biopsy. The first time around we got a false negative result with the preliminary, frozen section, yet I went for that option again this time.

God gives me so much freedom that I could have reacted the same way I did three years ago and it would have been okay. Back then I clung to Jesus but was simultaneously completely panicked. My inner voice spoke as loudly and quickly as the real people I spoke to, resulting in an influx of turmoil and stress. My mind jumped rapidly between "what ifs", self-pity, and planning for the future. This time, though, my faith is stronger. Peace is more thorough, my foundation sturdier. This time, my heart didn't even skip a beat. God helped me control my thinking, and I slept soundly. He assured me that what He does is complete, nothing can be added or taken from it (Ecc 3:14). More importantly, He reminded me that I honestly prefer His plan to my own, and He will carry me wherever I need to go. There's no room for self-pity or doubts in the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 12:20 Or how can someone enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then indeed he may plunder his house.

We have total peace in God's plan and I am certain that I am cancer-free. But mostly, I am encouraged to be able to see some of the tangible growth that both Yaacov and I have made in our walks with Christ over the past few years. The biopsy experiences were so similar they were like pre- and post- tests. Hopefully our scores improved! I had a pretty strong faith and a perfectly healthy, easy life at the time of the pre-test. But I am so grateful that in His sovereignty He had bigger plans for me--an intervention! He pre-planned the journey to make me a better person by teaching me about fear, healing, faith, prayer, compassion, perseverance, and love. He used suffering to enlighten me and I wouldn't reject that blessing if given the choice.

The frozen section biopsy came back negative, like we expected. We should get the permanent section results early next week. 

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen. Romans 11:36

UPDATE: The permanent section biopsy came back negative, too! We are so thankful to this God we serve, through whom all things are possible!