Warfare

Yesterday I mentioned to Yaacov that it was the first day I felt entirely healthy in a long time. So, it should have been no surprise that right before bed last night I got very sick. Today I'm miserably ill, worse than I have been in a long time. Nice. I am extraordinarily fortunate that it's a weekend though, and that Yaacov is available to watch the kids.

While I was tossing and turning last night I got to thinking about more cruel "irony" of this cancer. I have been upset for awhile because two of my doctors recommend I have my ovaries removed along with my double mastectomy. This is general recommendation for all women who have finished their childbearing and have the BRCA1 genetic mutation. I won't go into all the reasons it upsets me but in general, it would be the end of all things that make me a female. Plus, there are a lot of downsides to going through menopause 20 years early.

I realized last night that there's more to all this warfare. Eve committed the first human sin in the garden and was punished with pain in childbearing. The ability to produce and nourish life was hers alone, and then the joy of it was tempered with pain because of bad choices. Now some of her descendants have this genetic mutation that causes corruption and death to those same special abilities and body parts. The earthly solution is to take those away from us. Either option is a punishment, as is having to make the decision. I will be praying for more wisdom and I'm certain He will help me figure out what to do.

Genesis 3:16, "To the woman He said, 'I will greatly increase your pains during childbearing. With pain you will give birth to children,".

I believe my forefathers, these Ashkenazi jews with the mutation, did something noteworthy to deserve this generational curse. I am convinced the genetic mutation is a punishment, and I can't wait to get to heaven and hear the story (if I can't learn it beforehand). However, in the meantime God can and does use all things (even cancer and what goes along with it!) the enemy intends for evil into good. I will also pray every day for the next 14 years (until Abigail can get the test done) that my girls do not have the mutation.

Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."