What I'm Here For

A lot of people are dying of cancer. It is awful. Every day I hear of people who die or are about to die. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not one of them. I'm not the only one, either. You should see the look on people's faces when they haven't seen me in awhile. They expect me to look like I'm on death's door. They ask how I'm doing and are shocked when I tell them I'm healthy. When I complete my medical forms and the only pills I have to report taking are Tamoxifen and a sleeping pill, the doctors prod me, thinking I just refuse to take the others. But it is all true. God has brought me through this, against all odds. 

1 Peter 4:13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

I know my job is to glorify Him. To share the story He blessed me with. But why me? I deserve it less, appreciate it less, report His awesomeness less, than many. Than most. I'm not complaining or anything, just recognizing my futility in this life.

Tonight He reminded me so clearly of three of the reasons: Yaacov and my babies. Day in and day out I am tired and struggle to get through the hours. I am crabby and impatient. I am no one's version of a perfect mom/wife. But I'm here. And I'm healthy. And I'm climbing a steeply uphill mountain toward perfection. Naomi just woke up screaming. I don't know what upset her, but I know what she needed. Mommy. She hugged me like a lifeline, so safe and secure. She knows she can count on me and I am so grateful. Because of God's compassionate nature, she wasn't ruined by the death of her mother as I feared, and instead has been blessed with my being perfectly healthy.

Every moment is a gift, whether you're like me and are on borrowed time because you were miraculously healed of a terminal disease, or you're healthy as a horse with nothing but time on your side. All these moments add up to equal our contributions to this world but we lose sight of that goal sometimes. We focus way too much on events that don't matter, and forget the impact of each tedious, boring, seemingly unimportant one.  

Matthew 7:7-11 - God is like a loving father who gives what his children need. If we ask, we will receive.

I pray that everyone who reads this will have an "Aha" moment tomorrow. Lord, hit us over the heads with reminders of your presence. Of your love. Your truth. Remind us how you treat us like your precious children or let us see the fruit of the love we have for you and your people.

2 Peter 1:10 Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall,