Priorities

I have a lot of long term projects hanging over my head right now, and recently had a big breakthrough about them--they aren't important! There are obviously parts of everyone's lives that necessarily create a pit in their stomachs, but it's occurring to me that they don't need to comprise a large part of my day and concerns. I made a mental list of the (many) that do that for me. The current ones are all self-imposed, like the commitment I made to finishing my next book. I made that on my blog, really to myself. Not a publisher or anyone else that matters. Now whenever I start working on writing different things I remember that goal and feel guilty I'm not working on it. It eats away at me. I'm praying about the answer, but I'm pretty sure I'm taking it off the to-do list. Along with about five other unimportant things that stress me out.

This is pretty huge for me. It goes along with the "release yourself" idea that I usually take issue with. I really respect hard work and honoring commitments, as well as the satisfaction and benefits that come from a goal achieved. However, all the things that stress me out right now are things I decided to do independently. No one is counting on them but me, and I think I might go ahead and release myself from them.

So, that's progress. I think it's working more intentionally toward my priorities. God has spoken a lot about them to me this week. My priorities must be: God, Yaacov, Abi & Naomi, then the ministries I'm involved with. I was praying about my mission this week and feel strongly that it is to tell people what God has done for me. To glorify Him. That must be interwoven among the priorities but if I'm doing a good job in my relationship with Him, that will fall into place. Anything else on my to-do list must correspond to it's spot on my priority list.

1 Cor 10:31, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

I feel good about all this. Here are a few other things I have going on:
Friday is the Joanna Francis Living Well Foundation event. It is a fundraiser to help people with stage 4 cancer pay their non-medical expenses. I am one of the honorees who supposedly does a good job of "Living Well". The only things I really do to live well is keep a positive attitude and pray. I got to nominate doctors who helped me live well. They picked Dr. Crooms and Dr. Rassam and those two are being recognized. This is an event that has caused me stress, but that has waned recently and I hope it will be fun. I would appreciate prayers for it because it is the first cancer-related event I will go to without the opportunity to say anything. That means I have no chance to tell people what God has done. And that in some weird way I am getting attention like I've done something great. It's sort of anti-God in that way. Please pray for opportunities to tell the truth to these people. I also don't know who else is being "honored", but because it is for people with advanced cancer, I expect to be the only one healed. I ran into one person involved with it and she still assumes I have it and am between treatments. I know a lot of people think that, and as much as I hate to admit it, hearing that sort of thing gives me a hiccup in my confidence. So honestly I avoid it. Anyway, I don't want to tell a bunch of people who are dying that I am not dying. And I don't want to sit there quietly and let them assume I ate so much broccoli that my cancer went away. And I don't want this, I don't want that, yada yada. Please just join me in prayer about it.

If you want to support the Living Well Foundation, you can do so by going to the event or probably just giving money. The link is: www.joannafrancislivingwell.com

Romans 14:20, "Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble."

I felt led to start fundraising for an amazing woman named Debora Passetti. I have mentioned her on here before. She prayed intensely for me during cancer then was diagnosed, at stage 4, herself. It gets worse though. Her husband had just retired, they'd bought a camper to travel the country. They can't do that now, and the cancer in her liver is not letting up. So her sons moved back to Tallahassee to be closer to her. What do you know, her son was driving one of their cars and got rear-ended. He broke his spine in two places. The police said normally people just die on the scene from that. He has a motor tic and if he had just had one little tic after the crash he would have been paralyzed. But he didn't! We rejoice because he is not paralyzed and is doing great. But it's still so much for his parents to deal with. Too much.

They depend on the Lord but it is clearly a difficult time in their lives. Retirement always drops people's income so it's probably extra hard on her husband to feel a lack of control from that. I read online that the average insured person still spends over $700/month on cancer. So anyway, we started an account where people can donate but so far it's not taking off. I am not sure what to do from here. I have some ideas for fundraisers but they all have downsides so I'm stagnant. If you would like to help support their family, the link is: www.giveforward.com/supportfordeborapassetti

1 Timothy 6:18, "Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share."

2 months post-surgery, 4 weeks into radiation

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:18

God is so good to me. I am so blessed, I cannot believe how much I whine about being tired or unhealthy. There are so many worse problems to have, and I HAVE BEEN MIRACULOUSLY HEALED. What else do I need?.But God puts up with me. He gently reminds me of His goodness instead of hitting me in the head with a frying pan. Or with a bullet, like all those people in Colorado. We were at the opening night show of Batman here--with just a few different life choices we could have ended up there instead--winding up dead, or desperately wounded, reminded constantly of what life had been like before. I read that the parents of a girl who died were praying that people would not lose their faith in God after this tragedy. Can you imagine having such grace, faith, and peace a day after your daughter was brutally murdered? I sometimes am too burnt out to wish I was like that, because I become fearful that He will put me in the circumstances that would make me like that. As if He would say, "You asked for it. Let's see much do you really want to be like me."

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise. " Ps 111:8 

Sometimes during cancer I felt like I'd brought it on to myself. Not because of eating too much sugar or other ridiculousness, but because of all my prayers to be refined, used, etc. I guess I still do feel that, but not as strongly. He chose me for the challenge, but I will never know why. They say faith is tested not to show God what you believe, but to show yourself and others. Maybe that's all it was. My faith was tested, and ultimately strengthened, through it all. I'm not the same person now, and even today, as I struggle with exhaustion and am disappointed in a variety of my own behaviors, my "worst" is different than it was a year ago. I won't dare to say it's "better", because I'm too tired to view it clearly and do not want to overstate it.

"Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done."
1 Chron 16:8

I have many issues to update everyone with, but a few will have to wait for more detailed posts. The important things are that, 2 months after surgery I'm looking and feeling good. Every professional who sees my wounds wants to know who did the surgery and commends Dr. Crooms on his awesome work. I'm still tender to the touch, and my upper back hurts, but they are the level of pain we all live with anyway. My radiated area just became burned and sore to the touch yesterday, and because it's the weekend has had a chance to heal. This will be my last full week, so I imagine it'll be a painful one, but there are only 7 more times total, so that's fine. I'm getting the genetic testing done that I mentioned but the results won't be in for 6-8 months. I got involved in a genetic (non-treatment) study, and if the Lord chose not to adjust my mutation, my adult relatives can get tested through them for free. So, it's a win-win, especially because my cousin couldn't convince her doctor to let her get tested. Apparently some doctors balk at testing when it comes before a diagnosis. Sort of undoes the point of genetic testing, if you ask me. But it's expensive and different, I guess, so we shouldn't expect anything else.

"And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:2-5

Finally, the girl we prayed for on 7/26, with the lung cancer got some good results--she is involved in a non-chemo clinical trial and her cancer has significantly decreased after just a few weeks on the treatment. So, thanks for the prayers and to our Amazing Lord!