Almost TEN Years!

I heard a podcaster the other day say that the problem with blogging is that it's never finished...in my case, it has felt "done" for quite awhile. For a bit I tried to change websites, but finally let that one lapse for lack of use. 

However, I finally have something important enough to share with the world! Contrary to what some others expected, it's not that the cancer is back or anything. It's that it's been almost 10 YEARS since I was healed! We make such a point to remember and celebrate other big things in our lives, I just can't help but make a big deal out of this.

As a quick recap of my story, about 10 years ago I was nursing our daughter, Naomi, who couldn't even crawl yet. Our oldest, Abigail, was only 3. I had noticed a lump that wouldn't go away, and it took a long time to finally learn that it was breast cancer. And the worst news of all was that it had already spread throughout my body. It was incurable, stage 4--no medical treatments could remove it all. The best any drugs or procedures could do would be to slow the spread and aim for as many comfortable days as possible before I died.

My husband, Yaacov, started preparing to be a single dad. My own dad moved to Tallahassee to help with the kids while I went through chemo, double mastectomies, and radiation. I mourned and tried to be Super Mom while I could... And we prayed.

First we prayed that I'd live long enough to see the girls accept the Lord as their savior. I was so afraid they would turn from Him in their pain if I died first. Then I got braver and prayed for 10 more healthy years. I had heard of a woman who beat many, many odds to live that long with stage 4 breast cancer, and I thought maybe the Lord would bless me like he blessed her. That would have been when the kids were tween- and teen-aged, which is a terrible time to lose a parent. So, finally, we realized that if we were asking for a miracle in the first place, we might as well go big with it.

In the end, we asked for prayer from others, and it spread like wildfire. People passed our story and requests out until we had people in all 50 states and 18 different countries praying that I would be miraculously healed. We prayed specifically that the doctors would be dumbfounded by the healing, so that only God would get the glory.

And He did. After just a few chemo treatments, my oncologist ran over and told me he'd never seen anything like my scan results. My cancer had disappeared! And it has never returned.

I still see him annually, and he talks about it every time. 

The Lord answers prayers. 

I'm living proof.

Circumstances

I have found myself in the midst of a war. The very first battle, between good and evil still continues to this day and I was blissfully unaware of much of it until recently. One thing is that I have been called to minister to and pray for sick people, mostly those with cancer, and it sometimes takes a mental toll on me. I start feeling like I'm praying the same words day after day, but just for different people. Like a broken record I pray from necessity rather than from the deep, wounded brokenness that overflows from the soul of an unworthy sinner. So I pray to care more, pray to break more, pray to yearn more. Then the worst thing happens--He answers those prayers. My circumstances change and I care more, ache from the inside out, cry out to the Lord for the ability to even comprehend the evil that surrounds me.

Psalm 34:15-18
"The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to blot out their name from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

I'm so saddened by the circumstances around me, and I am trying not to allow them to interfere with the celebration of the season. We should reflect on the amazing gift of Jesus. He came willingly into the world, and didn't sin. He was the only one who didn't deserve death, but He carried our sins just because He loved us. And He is now the only way to get to heaven. None of that will ever change. Our interpretation, understanding, or circumstances all change, but those truths will stay the same.

Malachi 3:6, "For I am the Lord, I do not change; Therefore you are not consumed O sons of Jacob"

I am supremely excited to tell you that Debora and I will be giving our testimonies on January 16 at Four Oaks Community Church. I've been honored to share it at many other places, but Four Oaks is our church home! I've been praying for and waiting on this opportunity for almost two years now. It will be well worth the wait, because we get to boast about His awesomeness there! If you're in town please come rejoice with us about the amazing God we serve.

I'm going through some really difficult circumstances right now but I have to be vague about all the details. So instead I ask that you join me in praying for protection for my family and the families of all those we've prayed for in the past, that they would increase in faith and peace, and for help in focusing on the Lord. Pray also that the Lord will use us all for His good, and that we would see Him in all things. I have some prayer updates and new requests that I'll put below:

Barbara--We were praying for her clear PET scan. We didn't get that miracle yet, but we will not lose faith. Her liver looks better but it grew in other places, so they are trying to remove some to assess what best destroys it then use those drugs on here. Sounds pretty cool to me. Pray she will have total relief from pain, doctors will treat her properly, and for a complete and miraculous removal of all cancer cells

Sally--PRAISE: A long time ago I talked about her on here. She was diagnosed with stage 4 BC soon after I was, and hers disappeared. It's been over a year without cancer and she had a bad PET scan recently, but HOORAY, the Lord had that disappear and further tests showed it was nothing.

Alison--PRAISE! At her 6 month scan they saw she has been cancer-free for over a year and a half! Glory be to God!!!!

Ryan--He has stage 4 stomach cancer and has been on chemo forever. He has a baby and has battling this for two years. Enough is enough, it's time for this miracle. Let's believe it for them because they are weak, tired, and worn out. We will carry him to the Lord and the Lord will heal him because of our faith (Mark 2:3-5)

Crystal--She and the others below are new on this list. She is young and was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 BC. It's all over her body and the chemo didn't work so they are radiating most of her torso. They fear it is in her brain and are awaiting a CT scan. Please pray for her comfort and that she will lean on Him, as well as for her family's peace, faith and comfort. Pray in the short run for immediate relief from her vomiting and that her brain scan shows absolutely nothing is wrong, and again for long run total healing.

Marlena--She is young and has already seen the Lord do great things with her diagnosis. There were fears that it had spread but He put those to rest. However, she's undergoing chemo and has had a really hard time recovering from that. Please pray He will strengthen her so she can maintain her role as a mother and that He will make anything she needs to give up or modify very clear.

Jenny--She is a pastor's wife who has had a recurrence of BC. She has a long list of awesome things the Lord has done to show her that He is in charge and is running things smoothly. She will have a bilateral mastectomy on Friday because she already had radiation. Please pray that the surgery goes well and with a smooth recovery and that the doctors have wisdom for all the proper treatment.

Teri--She loves the Lord and her triple negative BC did not spread, which is great. She's going through chemo and trying to stay positive, but it's really hard to work while undergoing treatment and she cannot take much time off. Please pray for her supernatural response to the chemo, that she would stay healthy and not struggle with the normal side effects of the treatment.

Contessa--This is the young mom whose home burned down a few weeks ago. She is doing well and has a new place to stay. We are collecting money for her utility deposit. Please pray she gets everything she needs and draws closer to the Lord through this experience.

NOW is the time to pray

My amazing friend Debora, who knows pretty much everyone in Tallahassee, is having a PET scan today. At 1:30 actually. I think in the past she got her results faster (maybe immediately, but that might have been a different type of test) than I have but we'll see. So please, please devote a minute to praying for her accurate test results to show that all of her stage 4 breast cancer has disappeared.

Debora prayed for my miraculous healing then was diagnosed with the same thing just three months later. A ton of things have happened since then, and we have been amazed at how the Lord used her journey to draw others close to Him.

With that said, I know she was healed and I want this PET scan to show it. I know, we should be content in all circumstances. And God doesn't heal everyone. And we all have to suffer. But do you know what else? Jesus healed all who came to Him. And He told His disciples to go out and heal the sick (Matthew 10:8). Are we bigger sinners than the disciples? Probably. Well, we might be better than Judas. Sometimes. But sin is sin, and there is only one Holy Spirit. It's the one who came down as a dove and rested on Jesus. Then at pentacost the rest got it. So...was that Holy Spirit more powerful than the one we have today? NO. Did He care about healing back then but change His mind? NO. Did He love the people from back then more than He loves us today? NO. NO. NO.

James 5:14-16

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

I wasn't healed because I deserved it. He did it so all could see His glory. How He answers prayer. How He provides hope in a hopeless world. I want everyone to get to share that hope and joy that comes when you get to share His miracles. There is nothing like it. I can't think of a better day than October 9, 2013 for Debora to get to do that. And for all of us, who have prayed without ceasing for her, to get to hear it.

A few other little things--I was honored at the Cards for a Cure event that is a fundraiser for the TMH Cancer Center. It was so cool. We had a lot of friends there which made me so happy. And it made the small talk, etc. much more fun. Before my little speech they showed a video that I'll put the link to here. It's on Facebook so if you aren't a member and it doesn't let you see it tell me. Cards Testimony Video

I don't have time to brag about all the awesome stuff God has allowed me to witness lately, but it's a lot! At that event there were 450 people, mostly those I didn't know, gathered there to fight cancer. And they all got a brochure with my story, saw the video, and applauded when I gave a speech that said God was the hero of my story. It was a secular event so I was surprised I didn't get booed off the stage, let alone to have people clap! And tons of people approached me later and said it was so brave of me to say that. I guess in their world it takes more courage to share the truth than I was aware. It was SUCH a huge blessing, I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

The last thing is that a few weeks ago I missed noting an important day on here. I feel really awful about it. It was Mesothelioma Awareness Day. You know, breast cancer gets a whole month of press and everywhere you turn you see something pink to raise awareness. People with Mesothelioma just get one day and who even noticed it? It was September 26. Apparently most people diagnosed with it get just 7200 hours to live. That's 300 days. The man who sent me the information about it said his wife is a rare survivor of it. So, please check out this website and keep that awful disease in your prayers.

I love you all. Seriously. I do.

Limiting God

Some devoted Christians have a hard time handling or believing the fact that I was healed. Or that anyone they know will be healed of something huge. My faith is so much bigger, stronger, and more fulfilling now that I know I've been healed. It is the biggest blessing that could have come out of cancer. I hate the idea that others can't get into that mindset. It changes everything. I know it can be scary to believe in miracles like that, because they don't always happen. And there's no earthly way of us knowing which prayers really will and will not occur. But for me it's worth the risk. Life is so much better on this side.

It's normal to be scared to pray for these miracles, or to explain them away. I was scared to believe I would be healed, because if I was wrong my kids wouldn't understand. Maybe other devoted Christians feel the same now. If I keel over tomorrow, did they lead their sheep astray by having rejoiced that God had healed me? Or, if they dare to believe I was healed how do they explain why their wife's best friend wasn't healed? Finally, if I can be healed because I prayed and believed God, how does that change the way they view and pray to Jesus?

I understand fear. We are told time and again not to worry behave out of fear for a reason--it's everywhere. Our society teaches us to be cautious. Our experiences ensure that we will be disappointed if we let our guards down, so we protect ourselves. And our memories repeat the stories we've seen and heard about others being let down. 

The thing is, if you can't believe God healed me (just for example, this issue is not literally about me), how can you believe He answers other prayers? Do you set guidelines on how much to ask God for? Like, "Take my sore throat away for long enough to do this presentation", but never, "Lord, I believe you have removed the inoperable tumor from this woman's brain". I think that happens but it shouldn't. A good example is when Abraham walked with God and they spoke about Sodom, he asked boldly for more and more grace regarding His destruction of the city and the people in it (Genesis 18).

If we are going to limit God by what we believe He will do, what kind of faith have we developed? That takes the living trinity out of the mix and basically makes us the god. It turns us into being "spiritual, not religious" like so many lost souls. That is an easier way to live but that doesn't make it right. People might think it helps them avoid disappointment but it actually leads to destruction instead.

Christians are called to pray to Jesus, who intercedes for us. How egotistical of us to limit what we ask Him, what we expect of Him, to piddly little things that could happen by coincidence. How sad it is for our children to learn to word their prayers out of fear of disappointment rather than true faith. The Bible tells stories of suffering, but that doesn't make it the theme of the book. Our duties in this life are to grow closer to God and help others to do the same.

So, in this world where people without faith are empowered to do pretty much anything their hearts desire, I think we should feel empowered too. Not as individuals but as children of Christ. The Lord empowered us all to pray boldly, stand firm in faith and to be courageous. The great commandment tells us to love the Lord with all our heart and mind. We can't love and glorify Him if we're limiting Him with our own expectations (Mth 22:36-37).

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Hebrews 4:16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Matthew 7:7 "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.