"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" --Matthew 6:27
The chemo effects hit my mouth yesterday so I'm having difficulty speaking, eating, and swallowing. From what I can tell, it will be at least 9 weeks before this improves, so of course I spent the morning ruminating on how I can raise my children without a voice and the difficulty of a long-term liquid diet.
A quiet voice reminded me, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." With some difficulty, I let it go.
Next, Yaacov was supposed to leave town for a short business trip. That means both of us would be out of town tomorrow because I need to be at a monthly job I do, leaving my children in the hands of my overwhelmed 70 year old father for the entire day.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
Okay, God.
My doctor's office wants a bunch of paperwork for our appeal to go to MD Anderson in Texas by tomorrow. The phone calls I have to make for it run me ragged and I get nowhere.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
Got it.
These are the types of concerns I typically think NEED to be worried about, or they just won't get taken care of. But for once, I took the hint and let them go. Instead of everything falling apart, God took over. Yaacov's trip was canceled so he can help with the girls tomorrow. The Mayo clinic called me three times, (instead of my having to call them) and the doctor agreed to write a letter I need. Then a friend dropped off dinner--soup! It felt great on my mouth and is so much more satisfying than the all-juice diet I had started planning.
Perhaps God's word is alive and well. Perhaps he does find me more valuable than a bird of the air. Perhaps I need to stop trying to do His job and just do my own.
I am sorry to hear about your mouth. But glad that everything worked out alright for you today. I hear popsicles are good for helping with the sores-Edy's Fruit Bars are very scrumptious! :)
ReplyDelete-Jess T.
Oh Erin, it is so good to hear of your heavenly Father's love and care for you. When I read of all your worries, I wanted to jump in and care for you- take the girls, make some calls , whatever I could think of to help. But God is so good - He has already taken care of your worries and grown you in your trust of Him in the process. My love and prayers are with you tonight.
ReplyDelete(sorry if this posts multiple times..)
ReplyDeleteErin, I know you've had enough advice, but my mom (who was treated at MD Anderson) swore by Manuka honey for the mouth sores caused by chemo. She tried all the mouth rinses and other prescribed meds but nothing worked as well as Manuka, which was recommended by a fellow patient. You can get it online or in Tallahassee at the HoneyTree in market square. She told everyone she could at MD Anderson about it.
I am thinking of you every day and praying for you. In my moments of stress that are absolutely nothing in comparison to your's, I think of you and my perspective shifts to gratitude. You have such an amazing ability to be grateful throughout adversity. You inspire me as a mother and a person. I thank you for teaching me to think and to believe more deeply. You are incredible for sharing your strength and your moments of vulnerability with us in such an honest way. Thank you. Keep on enjoying this holiday and every day. You are amazing. Love, Michelle, VT
ReplyDeleteErin,
ReplyDeleteI am a colleague of Yaacov's and I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family. You are a beautiful soul and I am grateful for the many words of wisdom you have shared on your blog. May the Lord continue to bless you in the midst of this storm.
All the best from Nashville,
Jenny
Erin,
ReplyDeleteI saw this in 1 Peter at fellowship group last night and it made me think of you. I hope it is of encouragement to you. We are praying for you often.
1 Peter 2:19-20
For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
God often comes through when we step back and allow him to show us how HE can and will provide! What a blessing HE has given you this example . . . and that you shared it!! Love & prayers 2 U! Nina
ReplyDeleteSo glad God answsered prayer about going to MDA.
ReplyDeleteContinued prayers to you and your family .