Today was slightly better, physically, but it was another awful day. I know I need to get out of this downward spiral before it's too late, but I don't really want to. I want to feel sorry for myself and post a list of every bad thing that happened today so that everyone who reads this will feel sorry for me too. Oh, and I want to eat a huge brownie sundae while I do it... I deserve it, right?
One of the worst things about knowing what the Bible says is that I have no excuse to make bad choices. Not that I'm a Bible expert, but I can't plead ignorance on this. When I committed my life to Christ I knew that I didn't deserve His love, sacrifice, or forgiveness, but He gave it freely. Just because times are tough now I can't waste time acting like some poor victim who deserves better. I certainly can't break all the rules and blame it on my circumstances. For the record, the rules I'm referring to now re: 1) Say positive things ["A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." (Luke 6:45), "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." (Proverbs 18:21)] and 2) Focus on God instead of myself [Colossians 3:1 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." (Col 3:1-2).
When I started this post I was ready to go on and on until I convinced myself to cheer up. But God already took care of it. I feel fine now. The piddly things that were bugging me are gone. So, I guess I'll quit while I'm ahead. We're going to pack in the AM then leave for Texas. I hope to blog frequently from there but am not sure about the internet access. I am ready, ready, ready for some good news and look forward to sharing it on here as soon as I get it.
Farewell for now, friends! Thanks for caring and praying, I love you all!
You are loved, Erin! Good luck in Texas. We'll all be sending well wishes and prayers.
ReplyDeletePraying Erin! Anxious to hear good news from Texas!
ReplyDeleteMy family will be thinking of you with love and support on this part of your journey (literally!). Travel safely and enjoy small moments (like Texas accents and brownie sundaes).
ReplyDeleteWe are ready for some good news too! Praying and thinking about you lots today as you travel to Texas. This is all part of God's plan. He will heal you!
ReplyDeleteThinking about you Erin, I check for updates on your blog everyday, and pray for you! Hope that you are feeling well today, and you all have a safe trip to Houston!! Give those girls a hug for us! I think Brownie Sundaes are totally acceptable! :) Can't wait to hear good news! love you all!
ReplyDeleteErin, I am praying specifically for the cancer on your spine. I remember you saying chemo can't touch it there, well I just keep holding to the truth that God CAN touch it there and praying that He will see fit, in His mercy, to eradicate it. Praying for your safe travels to Texas, for eyes to see His mercies and grace and love that envelop you, and for healing, through modern medicine or miracle. Many prayers surround you and go with you to Houston.
ReplyDeleteComputers in most waiting rooms at MDA.
ReplyDeleteWill be watching for your blogs when you get a minute. Our prayers are with you.
safe travels and best wiishes from the harmons!
ReplyDeleteWishing you all a safe trip, you're constantly in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMuch love the Hubers x
Hi Erin - I was led to your blog by my friend Cathy who is on the Data Driven team. Both my and my husband's family has been touched by cancer so I was so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I've been reading your blog and what an inspiration you are to you family, friends, and even strangers. God will provide. I wish you the best at MD Anderson - we live in Dallas, not too far from Houston, so please let us know if you need anything. Prayers for you and your family.
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